Some of my favorite gay dating coaching and matchmaking clients are those who are 50 or older. Over the near decade I’ve worked in the dating and relationship industry, I’ve seen that mature men have time to do the homework I ask them to do. And they want to figure out what truly matters to them in a serious relationship.
I think most of these mature men want to hire me as a professional dating coach and matchmaker because they are done with their hookup phases, and they’ve decided to follow a path to finding the love of their life.
Here are my top four dating tips for mature men to have the best success in dating.
1. Date Someone With a Similar Mental Age
Over the span of eight years working in the dating coaching and matchmaking field, I often hear my clients say, “I’m youthful and want to date someone who’s the same.” I really do believe that age is just a number, but there are certain life skills a 20-year-old guy just doesn’t have that a man in his 50s does.
Something I frequently hear from my older gentlemen clients is that the younger guy they are dating is mature for his age. But then this rift in age started causing them a lot of struggles and indifference down the relationship road. I explored this notion in more detail in my book, but, in general, I’ve found that the larger the age gap between two romantic partners, the more likely compatibility will wane as time goes on. One study shows that the success rate of a long-term relationship with people who have a 20-year age gap is around 5%. That’s extremely low.
Age disparity is a real thing that can drastically affect a relationship over the long term. This is one of the main reasons why I always try to match a client with someone who’s within 10 years of their own age. The half-your-age-plus-seven rule to determine the minimum socially acceptable age to date is a tool I’ve seen has some validity. For example, if you are 50, you’ll divide that by two, which will give you 25. Then you’ll add seven, which will give you 32. So you won’t want to date anyone younger than 32.
By all means, please date whomever you wish. It’s your life. I can’t control you, but I can offer my expert advice to help you see blind spots. People pay me to be honest with them. I have to mention these obstacles to my clients (and you as a reader) so they can adjust their expectations as needed.
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