“What is Gay Dating Culture?” for DatingAdvice.com

Gay dating culture can be complex. As much as I would like to think that dating should be simple, it isn’t. My hope is that, as people become less enchanted with technology, the trajectory of dating someone will be a lot more direct. It will be less about veering into ghosting or misleading territory.

When I asked a couple of close friends about this topic, I got replies that seemed fairly comical. Among my favorite replies was a GIF of a person swinging on a trapeze of sorts and another GIF of the stock market. I look at both of these representations, and it’s apparent that gay dating culture feels like an unpredictable game. Let’s delve a little deeper into this mental game of hopscotch.

Texting is a Game of Hide-and-Seek

The current tech era we live in has created a culture of constant texting — and sometimes a lack thereof. Who texts whom first? Can you catch someone at the right place at the right time? I’ve always been quite the immediate texter. I do not expect my partner to adopt that same mentality.

My one problem is when you know someone has texted you, and you have ignored it throughout the day. It takes less than one minute to say, “Hey! I’m busy right now. Can we chat later?”

Are you wasting time trying to find someone who doesn’t want to be found? This, to me, is one of the biggest obstacles in current gay dating culture.

You Have to Be Willing to Be Vulnerable, But Be Brave Enough to Walk Away If It’s Not a True Match

Are you ready to experience love and make the choice to be prepared to fail? This is something I recommend for anyone who has experienced a recent breakup.

If neither partner in a couple is paying attention to cultivating a relationship, you can’t really claim to have anything in common. This becomes a game between a potential couple — neither of whom is really trying to find middle ground. And the fact is there isn’t one to be had.

Last year, I dated someone who didn’t have the same values. My non-negotiables weren’t something my potential partner wished to change about himself. You want to take everyone at face value and try not to convince them to be like you. Your perfect match will be open to change, but a relationship doesn’t work if you are demanding he change his character.

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