“How Do I Know When My Gay Relationship is Over, And What Can I Do About It?” for DatingAdvice.com

Relationships should have a certain level of ease. Of course, any time two people are together for a long period of time, there will always be problems and disagreements along the way. I have found that the first nine months to one year of many relationships are a period of compromise.

You may start to recognize that your partner has habits and traits that are an integral part of his life. You now have to turn your thought process inward and see whether you can accept those habits and traits.

If the bond is strong, then you can look at the big picture and dismiss more trivial things. But you may need to end the relationship if things get too rocky. Here’s what to do if things become unsteady and how to know if you should call it quits.

1. You’re Not on the Same Timeline

When I moved from Georgia to Los Angeles right after college, I became less lackadaisical about time and got into a very dependable rhythm. I was always told, “If you’re early, you’re on time. If you’re on time, you’re late. If you’re late, don’t bother showing up.”

I realized over the years that my sense of urgency is probably greater than that of the average person. I used to get into fights with boyfriends because I wanted to be at the airport three hours before a flight, and they wanted to get there within half that time.

This sense of urgency put me in a heightened emotional state. I would find myself getting very quiet — half my mind fuming with frustration and nervousness, while the other half questioning my behavior.

What I’m getting at is that I find that it’s best to be with someone who agrees with your sense of timing and planning. Sure, it can be fun to be spontaneous for a bit, and you should definitely find a balance between being responsible and letting things go every now and then.

But if that rift between you is too great, things can get a bit tumultuous. You need to build certain bridges and make it known how much you value and respect time — and your partner should value and respect how you feel. This is the key to knowing whether a relationship is worth your time.

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