I’ve been a matchmaker and dating and relationship coach for many years, and I’ve studied relationships and been in relationships for many years. In that time, I’ve worked with people from different backgrounds who all were seeking to learn how to live happily with their partners. And I’ve learned to identify the glue that keeps couples together.
Learning to think like your partner and sharing your way of thinking with him helps keep the intrinsic nature of the relationship invigorating and interesting.
Here are my top three ways to keep a gay man interested in you:
1. Be Adventuresome, and Travel a Lot Together
One of the tell-tale signs of relationship strength is two people working together to navigate a new environment. I’ve always recommended traveling with a partner for more than just a weekend to get a clear picture of how the two of you handle the good times (e.g., being in a romantic destination) as well as the bad times (e.g., the airline misplacing your luggage). To me, traveling with a partner also gives you an idea of his strengths and whether his strengths can compensate for your weaknesses. Nothing can be achieved if a dating couple knows how to build a fire, but no one knows how to cook.
I like to think of a relationship as an equation. You know the answer to the equation — living together in love and harmony. But to arrive at that answer means recognizing and knowing how to deal with all the variables thrown into this equation. Both partners have to work at sorting out the variables in a committed relationship to get the same outcome. Stress can consume a relationship when both partners aren’t making the same effort, and the equation lacks balance and organized flow. One person may think he has the better tactic and misses the opportunity to consider a different way of doing things. Being open to looking at problems from different perspectives helps make the process of solving the equation a collaborative effort, and that’s the best way to ace your “test.”
I would like to think that once you both have reached a threshold of comfort, it’s OK to fall on your face if something goes haywire. You’ve achieved a level of trust that allows you to feel secure in being your true self with your partner and vice versa. We all need to admit to ourselves and our partners that there are times when we are at our worst. By the same token, reaching a stage where you don’t have to hide your feelings will allow you to celebrate your victories together more deeply. Life’s adventures allow you to learn from the good as equally as you would learn from the bad.
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