So, you went on a great first date, and now you’re wondering what happens next. Here comes the pivotal step in keeping the excitement strong and perpetuating — the second date. In my opinion, it’s best to always meet someone within a week’s time of your first date. Otherwise, things just fizzle, and rightfully so. If your schedule doesn’t permit it, plan in advance, and don’t forget to check in with your date in the meantime.
If you’ve made that effort, and there’s no return on your investment, kindly say “thank you, next” to that person. I, along with most people, feel that, if a person can’t achieve a simple task of planning to see someone again within a reasonable amount of time, their life isn’t in equilibrium, or they’re just not interested.
One time a client asked a matchmaking colleague of mine: “Why does he say he always wants to hang out, but he never makes plans?” My colleague’s answer was quite frank and candid: “Because he’s dating someone else who excites him more, and he has you on reserve just in case he needs the validation of being wanted.”
I feel this answer is so important when creating a proactive game plan of getting to know someone after the first successful date. Here are three tips for doing so:
1. Do Something You Both Really Like to Do
Something I always feel is huge in that initial positive connection with someone is your lifestyle compatibility. Name the top three hobbies you have that you practice at least three times a week. Oftentimes, if you’re doing some strategic sleuthing, you’ll be able to identify at least one or two of those hobbies based on the person’s dating profile photos or verbiage. These hobbies have to somewhat fit into the life of the person you are dating, or at least the person should be fine with you participating in these hobbies regularly.
Most importantly, are you fine with this person not wanting to partake in those activities? Some of the top examples that come to mind are religious or spirituality practices, physical fitness, and travel frequency. A lot of those hobbies come down to time management or even things like socioeconomic status.
For instance, I’m perfectly fine flying coach no matter how much money I make or don’t make, and I would still do so even if I was dating a more affluent man unless he paid for my first-class ticket. I think some men might be embarrassed or even be offended that I don’t want to sit by them during the flight.
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