I always tell my clients to act intuitively without being too blatantly obvious.
1. Be your own sly sleuth.
Being playful is better received than saying conventional and cheesy pickup lines.
Body language is huge and be cognizant of it. Is he touching your knee or shoulder from time to time? Are you reciprocating his effort?
If you are really feeling good chemistry with this man, maybe sit beside him instead of across the table on your first couple of dates.
2. Test the waters.
Always ask if something is comfortable with him. That immediately shows confidence. It also shows you are comfortable in an already semi-awkward situation.
Be a gentleman, though. This isn’t an open invitation to glue yourself to him like fly paper.
Or maybe lean a little bit more across the dinner table. This shows you are really engaged in the conversation and gives the impression you are truly interested.
I once read if everyone just kissed before their first date, dating would seem a lot less intimidating. Imagine if that was the norm!
Notice if he’s being a chivalrous gentleman. Did he open the door for you, help you to your chair, walk you to your car or offer to pay for the first meal?
You should initiate this as well. These small details can really tell you he might like you more so than you think.
One of my favorite things is if a man tells you to text him when you get home. And let’s be real, a sweet kiss can really seal the deal in regards to your question of him liking you.
Sometimes, though, he does all these things, and then you find out he is not on the same page as you. Surprisingly, this happens a lot .
Some guys are just raised to be gentlemen by sociological factors, but when one isn’t used to this, they automatically think wedding bells. Sometimes these mixed messages are really just him being cordial.
Usually both of you have a more absolute idea of which direction the relationship is being guided after two or three dates.
“Enough with being coy rather
than going for what you want.”
3. Find common hobbies.
This is always a great way to follow up with someone to see if they are interested in seeing you again.
A can-do attitude is so much better than a roadblock. Optimism is always fuel to a conversation, and negativity is like sand to the fire in conversation.
Are they into hiking just as much as you are, or can they act like they are? Offer to take him to your favorite hiking trail and plan an impromptu picnic once you’ve established that level of comfort with him.
Maybe he’ll do this for you, but how good does it feel to be valued? Don’t be afraid to do it first.
My clients want guys who are adventurous and have a good sense of humor. If you don’t feel like you are a humorous fellow, I feel like a smile can really say a lot. Be willing to laugh at yourself rather than be embarrassed.
Has he been taking brief, organic moments just to look at you without you feeling intimidated? Those are nuggets of opportunity to “cash in” later if you are feeling confused about the parameters of the relationship.
In regards to communication…
A man once told me, “If you have time to pee, you have time to text me.” I kind of agree with that statement, regardless of how vulgar it is.
If someone tells you they really enjoyed their time with you, you should let you know and vice versa. Enough with being coy and wanting to be chased rather than being a man and going for what you want.
The way to kill romance momentum is feeling like you are in waiting room limbo. Sooner is definitely better than later. Be honest!
I feel like a person deserves a second date if you felt the first one went really well. If the chemistry isn’t there, be classy and walk away with a new friend or a change in your original thought process.
Never be in the mindset of a failed attempt. Dating is a prolonged and sometimes treacherous journey before you actually find the treasure.