With this article, I figured I would be less conversational and more direct in my approach and dating advice:
1. Texting or taking calls
Maybe when he goes to the bathroom you can tell your gal pal or best friend how it’s going in a couple of words.
Nothing says “You’re not important right now” than having the reflective light on your face during the date. If the date was important to you, you would’ve told your closest friends, and they should know you are unavailable anyway.
Sometimes I’ve left my phone in my car if I knew I would be tempted.
2. Setting up a date at a loud club or bar.
Nothing is more annoying than having to struggle to connect with your date and having to repeat yourself – or catch your date looking at a go-go dancer. Awkward.
I always like suggesting a place I’ve been before and have experienced the ambiance firsthand.
3. Having too many drinks
Nothing says “I’m a floozy or gold digger” faster than that. I don’t have to reiterate.
4. Expecting the other party to pay
Yes, even if a gentleman offers to take you out, you should always offer and be cordial. Even be nice and ask to put down the tip. Little things like that can leave a lingering positive impression at the end of the date.
Sometimes if the date is going super-well, take the opportunity to be like “I’ll pay for dessert,” allowing the date to go longer if things are going peachy keen.
5. Dressing like you’re going to the club after
Nothing says “I’m fitting you in” than dressing like you are going to the beach, which I feel a lot of gay men do to fit the “club attire” bill. Dating is a special occasion, so treat it as such.
“I always say less
is more to my clients.”
6. Not doing your homework
You probably met him at an event or via a dating website, so find out what his interests are and take interest in those things.
If you just talk about your interests, the conversation will seem one-sided and selfish. Asking him about his interests will make him feel you took time to see things in his world – big brownie points to be had there!
7. Being late
Fifteen minutes is totally excusable, especially in L.A., but more than that is a big no-no. More than that just seems like you don’t manage time well and you didn’t value the date as much as the other person did, who arrived on time.
I wouldn’t recommend fitting in a date if you know you have an important engagement before it. It’s always good to be early and set the tone that you’re a professional.
I’ve been on dates that I just left if the half-hour mark passed. No one wants to feel they have wasted time and made arrangements to see you!
8. Hearing their voice for the first time…on your first date.
If I could dismantle texting, I would. Know where your investment is. Get to know his intonation and personality, which a phone conversation gives you.
I always say less is more to my clients. Don’t give away too much. Keep the intrigue and mystery there.
9. Not keeping your promises
I get so many clients tired of dating flakes. If you say you’ll be somewhere, be there.
Your word is your bond, and if your word is sour, no one will take a chance on you again. None of this rescheduling 12 to 24 hours before, unless the situation is absolutely emergent.
Replacing your date with the next best thing will damage your reputation. We all know everyone knows everyone, so be careful.
10. Treating the date like an interview
In regards to your date, pingpong matches are much more fun than a solo game of racquetball. Let the conversation seem seamless – a give and take instead of a harsh tug-of-war match.
Sometimes I have men who have been burned so badly in past relationships that they literally are going question to question and the other guy feels he’s being interrogated. Those guys shouldn’t date (in my opinion).
So there are 10 great tips for you! Maybe you should have these handy on your next date.